I’ve been thinking a lot about perfection lately. The desire for it. What that desire stems from. How that affects me and my creativity, and my life in general.
And it’s getting in my way.
I spend hours of my life researching how to do something perfectly, instead of trying and learning as I go. (all things that I still have to do, whether I have the know-how or not)
I tell myself that it is so I can know how to do everything correctly. So that I can become an expert on something more quickly. And honestly, sometimes it does help me be better faster. I’ve saved myself hours of time not making basic beginner mistakes on a lot of things because I researched and read up and watched video after video. And that is all good. But, I spend even longer telling myself I don’t know enough yet. I’m not ready. I can’t start. Not yet.
I can’t even begin to tell you how long it took for this blog and website to go live. As I’m writing this, I don’t even have a real launch plan. I don’t have a time frame or a date picked out. I haven’t even really told people it’s coming. And it’s not so much a lack of preparation. It’s fear. I’ve put up a barrier in my mind; this website has to be perfect before I go live. Because otherwise people won’t like it. They won’t support me or be interested in my work.
But you know what? It won’t be perfect. Even if I spend hours and hours and hours working on it. Because that is how life works. It’s never perfect. It’s messy as hell. And that is a good thing. Perfection is boring. It’s restricting. It is full of fear. And I don’t want to be.
That lack of perfection won’t make people turn away and not want to support me. It shows I’m a real human, with real imperfections, and a real life. Now, I’m also not lazy. I’m going to put my best in because that’s what I do and that’s how I will succeed. I believe there is a difference between my best and good enough. And I will strive to always bring y’all my best.
So…why did I write all of this down and share it with you?
For one thing, it helps me get clear on what I want and what I need to do. It helps me understand my thoughts and feelings and what has been holding me back.
But also, I want to be real here. I want to be honest. I want people to understand they are not alone in their struggles. And it is ok to share, because it will help someone else who is going through something similar, who might think they are alone. And we all need a little extra honesty and support in the world right now. Shit is crazy right now. We don’t need the added pressure we put on ourselves.
All the good vibes y’all…